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Bible Trumper

Posted

To the editor:

I saw Donald Trump advertising his Bible for $59.99, and I wondered what it has over the Gideons Bible that I can acquire for free in hotels and motels. Boy, was I wrong. I love the new updates and notes on some of the Ten Commandments.

First Commandment: I am the Lord thy God; you shall not have strange gods before you.

Note: Ex-presidents are not strange.

Sixth Commandment: You shall not commit adultery.  

Note: But since adultery naturally follows childhood, it’s inevitable. So enjoy it.

Seventh Commandment: You shall not steal.

Note: Spending other people’s money is not stealing.

Eighth Commandment: You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.

Note: Unless he or she is a judge, juror, witness, critic or anyone who  is against you, and then let them hear the wrath of God (you).   

Ninth Commandment: You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife.

Note:  Rape is not coveting.

Tenth Commandment: You shall not covet your neighbor’s goods.

Note: Rather put up fake collateral and “borrow" the goods — notwithstanding Polonius’ wise advice to Laertes, “Neither a borrower nor a lender be.”

Michael J. Gorman

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