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To the editor:
I saw Donald Trump advertising his Bible for $59.99, and I wondered what it has over the Gideons Bible that I can acquire for free in hotels and motels. Boy, was I wrong. I love the new updates and notes on some of the Ten Commandments.
First Commandment: I am the Lord thy God; you shall not have strange gods before you.
Note: Ex-presidents are not strange.
Sixth Commandment: You shall not commit adultery.
Note: But since adultery naturally follows childhood, it’s inevitable. So enjoy it.
Seventh Commandment: You shall not steal.
Note: Spending other people’s money is not stealing.
Eighth Commandment: You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.
Note: Unless he or she is a judge, juror, witness, critic or anyone who is against you, and then let them hear the wrath of God (you).
Ninth Commandment: You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife.
Note: Rape is not coveting.
Tenth Commandment: You shall not covet your neighbor’s goods.
Note: Rather put up fake collateral and “borrow" the goods — notwithstanding Polonius’ wise advice to Laertes, “Neither a borrower nor a lender be.”
Michael J. Gorman
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